THE VIRGINIA TECH TRAGEDY:  
WHAT EVERY PARENT OF A COLLEGE STUDENT NEEDS TO KNOW

The recent tragic shootings at Virginia Tech have touched all our hearts and may be upsetting to parents of college students everywhere.  The following is offered as simple guidance.

NORMAL REACTIONS

• Your reaction to current events belongs to you – there is no “right” or “good” way to react.  The same is true for your student, each of his/her friends and other family members.
• Some normal feelings and reactions to events like this may include, but are not limited to:

Taking care of yourself

• Consider doing something to recognize and make a positive difference in light of this horrible event.  Make a donation, write a letter, participate in an activity consistent with your spiritual beliefs or sponsored by your community.
• Explore any specific questions or concerns you have about your student and his/her safety, through a reliable source.
• Eat and sleep well. 
• Exercise.
• Engage in social and recreational activity.
• Maintain your routine.
• Engage in normal activities that support your personal safety: wear seat belts, lock doors, share your address and phone number in appropriate settings and with people you know.
• If you are reacting strongly to the events in Virginia, limit your exposure to media coverage, share your concerns with one or more trusted friends or family members, take it a little slower in terms of demands you place on yourself and others, consider calling the EAP.

Supporting your student

• Check in with your student and see how s/he is doing generally, as well as with regard to the events in Virginia:
• Take your cues from your student, actively demonstrating your understanding and respect of his/her reaction.
• Share your thoughts and feelings with your student in a way that “owns” them and respects your student and his/her perspective.  “I know you see this as an isolated incident and I’m very glad that you are not upset.  I also see this as a good reminder for all of us to stay alert and take precautions to maintain our safety.”
• Express wishes regarding your student’s safety as your own “I know that all of the decisions about how you keep yourself safe belong to you. I must admit, it would make me feel good if I knew that you were either returning after dark in the company of friends, or using the campus escort service.”

Check in with other family members, especially younger children who may be at home and exposed to the media.   Explore their thoughts and feelings, offering clarifying information and support as needed.  A younger brother or sister may particularly appreciate a chance to talk to their college aged sibling at this time.

AETNA EAP

1-888-AETNA-EAP  (1-888-238-6232)

www.aetnaeap.com